Dog Trainer

Written May 2024.

CW: sexual content

Reece’s flat was abysmal. The only light was a nauseating orange coming from a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling, and a harsh blue from his gaming PC. You could tell from the smell there was no window in his room. What didn’t help was the bin overflowing with takeout boxes and energy drinks. At least he put them in the trash.

Aside from the huge desk his PC sat on, there was a squat wardrobe, a mini fridge, and a bed on the floor. Of course. It had a single blanket (unmade), a rumpled fitted sheet and two plain white pillows on it. The ceiling light made it impossible to tell if they had stains or not. The floor was surprisingly tidy. It was a single-room apartment; the second floor shared a bathroom, and the whole building shared a kitchen, not that you’d imagine Reece would use it much.

You followed Reece into his room, closing the door behind you. It did not muffle the neighbours' shouting in the halls and banging on the thin walls. “We gotta talk,” you said with your arms crossed. He leaned against his desk and ruffled his chestnut curls before putting his cap back on backwards. “About Kiana,” you pressed.

He cleared his throat and looked away as he said, “Um, yeah. Sure.”

“She broke up with you nearly a month ago,” you said, wandering forward. “She’s moved on and not interested.” Earlier today, Reece had found you and your best friend, Kiana, at the market. She was buying you a pride flag skirt you'll never wear when Reece showed up. He tried getting back on her good side, but she was having none of it. As the two of you walked off, he asked Kiana to at least tell him what he could do better. Kiana didn’t want to talk to him, something about giving in to his puppy dog eyes, so she asked you to talk to Reece on her behalf.

Three hours later, you stood in Reece’s flat as he insisted, “I wasn’t trying to come onto her. I get it, I swear! I did her dirty and that ship has sailed. But I don’t see why we can’t still be friends. We had such a good thing together!”

You huffed, and replied, “Your ‘good thing’ was ignoring her unless you were in bed. I don’t know what you two could do as friends.”

“You don’t get it.” He looked across the room at his wardrobe. “There was something there.”

When Kiana and Reece were together, you would have believed it. You were always jealous of something they had and you never did. When Kiana would call his name, Reece's eyes would light up. There was no hesitation from either of them when they held hands or leaned in for a kiss. For the handful of men you've dated, they would have to make sure no one could see you first; you were always their bi-curious experiment. After Kiana and Reece broke up, you learned from Kiana what it was really like for her. You felt guilty you were still jealous.

“What was there, love? Because Kiana wasn’t feeling it." Your envy whipped off your tongue before you could contain yourself. "What do you two have in common? Shopping? Hockey? Painting? Is Kiana secretly a gamer? Did you wanna try earrings on with us at the market?”

He looked down and drummed his fingers on the underside of his desk. He bit his lower lip and tensed his biceps. He wasn’t a big guy — he was only a few centimetres taller than you, and the lucky bastard didn’t suffer any consequences from all the pizza he ate — but he wasn’t scrawny either. His tank top fitted well, and he had tucked it into his wide legged pants. He was almost fashionable.

“You might be right,” he finally said, “I couldn’t even convince her to play Stardew Valley. But I was so much better with her! She made me want to be a better man. I bought a wardrobe because of her. I clean my room now!” He looks up. Kiana warned of his puppy dog eyes. She warned to ignore his plush pout and his long lashes. You were told it didn’t matter if they were genuine, you shouldn’t give in. But he seemed so distraught, like he had a tail tucked between his legs. He wasn’t manipulative, he just didn’t know better. You could handle yourself.

You rested your hip on the desk next to him and sighed, “Reece, that’s not fair to Kiana. You shouldn’t be together just because you’re a better person with her. You’ve got to find that motivation from within yourself.”

He turned his whole body to face you. “I’m lonely, Ari.” His soft brown eyes pleaded for connection. “I miss having a woman to please. I feel useless without her.” You could almost imagine him flattening pointed ears on top of his head. How could you not give in, just a little?

“Oh Reece, I’m lonely too. But being lonely isn’t so bad. I try to be a better person for myself, and when someone does comes along, I’ll already be my best self. With more room to love.” He broke your gaze with that. “Being lonely isn’t so bad,” you lied again. “There are more people than Kiana out there, and they’ll come with time.”

His eyes were wet; he didn’t believe you. "Do you want a hug?" you asked and opened your arms. Kiana always said it was every man’s loss that they weren’t dating you on account of your hugs being the best in the world — she certainly made the most of it. Despite that, your offer surprised you. Reece turned into you and embraced you with his head on your shoulder. He took deep breaths to hold his tears back, which tickled against your neck. You tried to ignore the flutter in your chest. Being lonely isn’t so bad, you told yourself.

Reece turned his head, and his lips touched your collarbone. Your breath hitched. “I feel like I’m drowning, here by myself.” His words vibrated against your skin. “Kiana saw me past this dingy shit hole, and she knew I didn't like it either. But I don’t know how to decorate.” Lonely isn’t so bad.

“Reece…” you warned him, but his hands slid around your waist. Isn’t so bad. “I’m not a woman, Reece.”

“You’re not a man, either.” His teeth pressed gently into your skin. Your heart lurches into high speed, and not just from the hickeys. With four words, he became a better man than any you have dated. His head lifted and nibbled a little higher. Not so bad.

“Reece, you can’t-“ He lifted his head and stared into your eyes. His eyelids were heavy, brows slanted outwards. Soft breath puffed from his lips, which were open just enough to see the tips of his front teeth.

“Ari,” he begged with no more than a breath, “let me satisfy you.” So bad. Being lonely is so fucking bad. So bad you tipped your head back and invited Reece to kiss bites along your jaw. So bad you helped him lift you onto the desk so he could stand between your legs. So bad you were undressed before you made it to the bed. So bad you remembered why it took Kiana so long to leave him.

So bad. What you’ve done is so bad. He was perfect. He was loving and kind. He was hot and he was loud. He learnt quickly what turned you on. He was a good boy all night. You walked home after dark and ignored Kiana's texts asking how the conversation went. Now you're in bed awake because of him. No one's treated you like him. No one has bothered to make the night about you, let alone worship your body like Reece. He was obsessed. You're still obsessed.

You can never see him again. He’ll hurt you like he did Kiana. He doesn’t know any better; he hasn’t learned to love yet. You need to respect yourself and let him grow to love himself first. And you’ll hurt Kiana if you give in. That’s her ex, he’s off limits! You toss and turn all night, and let Kiana go to voicemail in the morning. It will be easy to avoid him, your lives rarely cross paths. Despite everything, you rename his contact in your phone from ‘Kiana’s Ex 🚫🚫🚫’ to ‘Reece 🐶🚩’. Being lonely isn’t so bad, you lie to yourself.